Nasty Italian coach: (thinks to himself) Hmm, things are not going so well, the score is tied and we're in the second overtime, if we go into penalty kicks, w we have no chance, because Zidane and Barthez are such a winning combination. We have to wrap this up now... Aha! I have it. (Whispers something to Materazzi)
(Materazzi gets close enough to call Zidane a number of expletives, one of which is clearly heard to be "terrorist!")
(Zidane responds with a dramatic head butt)
Materazzi: Aieee! Che cazzo! I die!! (falls to ground, writhing in pain, clutching his knee)
The Narrator, a serveuse de bar wearing a slinky referee's outfit paired with a crazy multicolored clown wig in bleu, blanc et rouge, steps forward, waving a glittery wand.
Narrator: Two households, both alike in dignity (though not in skill)
In fair Berlin, where we lay our scene
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny
Where bad blood makes footballer's hands unclean.
The Italian coach did seeth and did taketh his opportunity
to remove the head from the French body politic
Thus removing all reason from the remaining team
Distracted, dispairing,
lamenting the displacèd Zidane.
Oh, woe is you, most foul Materazzi
And you, Italian coach whose name escapes me
But woe of woes to the Frenchman who
in the throes of passion
cannot keep his hotted head from butting
thus ending a noble career
in the ignominy of a carton rouge.
Exeunt.
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14 comments:
Well I'm seeing red about LES BLEUS :(
very funny :D
By far the most dignified lament of Zidane's moment of madness!
I think that the French Football Federeation deserves serious punishment for this action. Violence should not be tolerated anywhere and especially in an event like this and starred by an overpaid French like him.
Once again, the world was amazed by the elegance (head butt) of France losing the World Cup.
Why this happened? Visit my blog for analysis.
http://manyyearsinthemerde.blogspot.com
And celebrate this new French defeat!
perfect dramatic recounting of the event! lovely. although, was it *really* clearly overheard to be "terrorist"?? i thought the jury was still out on that one?
A brilliant description, Maîtresse! Just brilliant! I find it very fitting to view the Zidane thing through a Shakespearean tragedy lens
La page francaise took the words out of mouth. Hilarious!
PS a huge shame we couldn't meet up, I would really have liked to. Next time, I hope.
(curtseying) Thank you, thank you!
No, RPP, it hasn't been confirmed what he said-- Zidane himself wouldn't repeat what Materazzi said to him, but I allowed myself poetic license.
Uranus- don't be mean.
ohmygod is no one else getting the sheer genius of the Romeo et Julietta reference??!!!
Holy cow, this is brilliant! Shakespear-ea female. Most excellent, v. hilarious.
m
I am so disappointed with Zidane for losing it. I used to worship him as an example of a likable French man. Fifa must bang heads together over this ; )
See my blog http//goodbyelafrance.blogspot.com
Francesca
What did Materazzi say to Zidane?
"Hey Chunk! You know i've got some naked pictures of your mum taking a bath! Wanna buy them?"
Slightly untimely, but having stumbled upon your entry I was impressed with the idea that he might have called Zidane a terrorist. I didn't follow the news after that game, but it's an interesting idea. What else could he have said so briefly yet so effectively? F-ing Italians (not in general, just regarding football)
And yeah, slightly brilliant Romeo and Juliet parody!
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