7/27/2005

road trip


“He’s gluing me! Fuck, he’s gluing me!” I am startled out of my passenger seat reverie and whip my head in G’s direction, not sure what I was expecting to see, as the car we were driving to Vitré was moving at 100 kph and a maniac with a glue gun would not have been able to keep up at that speed.

His face is exasperated but there is no sign of glue. Instead, there is a white van riding so closely behind us that it seems he could enter our trunk at any moment. I make a mental vocabulary note to myself that to tailgate in French must be coller. I debate correcting him, then decide that he is too agitated to absorb the lesson. Instead, I cover his hand with mine. This is part of the stick shift game: I don’t know how to drive one, but he pretends I’m driving the car every time he shifts gears. It’s something to do, at least.

The French highway system is curious, as major autoroutes will become two-lane roads as soon as they encounter a field or a village. If you are unfortunate enough to be caught behind a tractor on one of these roads, you must risk your life in order to pass in front of it.

I foolishly asked G, 6 hours into the trip, why the highways don’t stay highways. “Because you can’t go that fast through a town,” he answered, distracted.

“Why didn’t they just build the highways around the town,” I ask, trying to keep that “French-people-do-dumb-things” note from creeping into my voice, and failing miserably.

He didn’t answer, being too busy trying to pass the row of tractors in front of us at breakneck speed to keep from colliding into the oncoming traffic.

back in town


just got back from 5 days in Northern Brittany, where I consumed more crepes and cider than anyone ought to in such a short period of time, gained at least a kilo, and took 230 photos. More to come.

7/21/2005

coulda woulda shoulda?

Part of the joy of having once acted in the outskirts of the professional theatre world means people I knew back then often go on to become famous. In one summer (1998) at the Williamstown Theatre Festival as an apprentice, I was in a group that included the lovely and talented Britt Shubow, who has been in the Broadway production of "Mamma Mia!" since she graduated from NYU in 2002 and Kate Moenning, who that summer we all knew as Gwyneth Paltrow's cousin, who since 2003 has been better known as Shane on "The L Word." Various other apprentices from that year have gone on to score roles onstage and in films.

But I had to have been hiding under a rock to have missed the fact that Logan Marshall-Green, one of the studs of the group, has apparently been appearing regularly on "The O.C." and "24," to the extent that he now has a couple of fan sites (check one out here). I didn't watch "The O.C." in the States and I don't watch it here, where it's dubbed into French; I watched it once and was left with the impression that it was doing an inferior job filling the void left by "90210."

"24," however, I love, though i've only watched the first season. Looking forward to telling all my Frenchie friends who are so obsessed with "Vingt-quatre heures," as it's called here, that their American friend has rubbed shoulders (and done improv) with a bona fide American TV star! It kinda gives me cred, I think. Of course, some people over here think all Americans know each other, and as a result I get asked to introduce them to my friend Paris (Hilton).

Williamstown is always crawling with celebrities. The summer I was there we had Scott Wolf, Eric Stolz, and Tate Donovan. The summer after saw Paltrow and Ethan Hawke. But they're just up there doing their thing, having a nice summer away from the Hollywood rat race, and you never want to bother them with their celebrity. Nevertheless, hordes of local teens make it their business to stalk the stage door for a glimpse of their beloved, and I try to distance myself from this as much as possible by never approaching any of the actors.

So when I'm in the States in August, I'm heading up with the fam to the Berkshires for a weekend, where we will go see Mr. M-G in William Inge's "Bus Stop." And I will have the honor of seeing Logan turned into Scott Wolf!

7/18/2005

Karo strikes again

Just holler if the Karo-bashing is getting to be too much. From today's morsel of impossibility:

"I just read this awesome book called "The Tipping Point" which is basically about the point where small fads become huge trends.  Now I find myself constantly bringing up the book when I'm out at the bar.  Not surprisingly, no one seems to be interested.  My friends' idea of the tipping point is taking one more shot then falling over."

Well, at least he's aware that his friends are idiots. But he doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point" a) has an author b) is well-known to the reading public (some of whom subscribe to his newsletter) c) is actually about more than "trends"-- in one chapter Gladwell examines epidemics, like smoking and its resemblance to the 1970s outbreak of teenage suicides in the South Pacific. It's like announcing to a roomful of people, "Hey, I just saw this great movie about a boat called 'Titanic.'"

up close and personal


I was this close to the Prime Minister yesterday, covering the ceremony for the anniversary of the Velodrome d'hiver roundups for JTA.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I have a huge crush on M. de Villepin. He's tall, stately, tanned, and a poet and literary critic, although I have to say that what I've read of his writing is of questionable quality. But yesterday, while he was reading a letter that an 11 year old Jewish boy scrawled on the back of a train ticket before tossing it out the window of his convoy, de Villepin actually began to cry. First he went quiet, and for a minute it looked like he had lost his place in his speech. Then, he began to speak, and his voice cracked. I was close enough to see that his lower lip was trembling. He stopped again to regain control, and then proceeded to finish his moving, decisive speech.

I love a man who's not afraid to show a little emotion. *sigh*

7/16/2005

My boy on some random concert website. Second from the right, holding a glass of wine and wearing the hat I gave him last Christmas...

Harry Potter and the Half-Cocked Critic

What is a book critic to do when she is given the task of reviewing a book that she knows everyone and their mother will read?

Since the standard role of the popular book critic is to act as a sort of vetting agent, gauging a book's worth the minute it's let out of the gate, said critic becomes painfully aware of her rather awkward situation. She has to say something nice about it or she'll be a terrible grinch. She has to get in a few zings to maintain her critical "edge." But today I have had the opportunity to watch a renowned book critic crack under the pressure of the latest Harry Potter installment.

In this case, I'm referring to Michiko Kakutani, the notorious head reviewer for the New York Times.

When she turns her powers to Harry Potter, however, she falls prey to several verbal paradoxes which are the literary equivalent of one of Neville Longbottom's botched up spells. As Kakutani has it, Draco Malfoy "appears to vanish" every so often from the school's grounds, and the plot is "positively Miltonian in its darkness."

She resorts to a healthy amount of plot summary and to warning parents that their kiddies may be frightened by the final scenes, commenting irrelevantly on the scary scenes in "Revenge of the Siths."

But what I find most strange about the review is actually something that strikes me as a problematic in popular (i.e. non-academic/self-consciously intellectual) criticism is the weird contrast between the assumption that the reader has an IQ of an anemone and the occasional peppering of references which said anemone would never understand, and thus maintain the "dumb reader/smart writer" dialectic. For example, Kakutani writes:

"This is a coming-of-age story that chronicles the hero's evolution not only by showing his maturation through a series of grueling tests, but also by detailing the growing emotional wisdom he gains from understanding more and more about the past."

Lord save me from similarly formulaic assessments in my own literary criticism. However, this insulting bit of doggerel is followed hard upon by this phrase: " In addition to being a bildungsroman, of course..."

At this point, the reader is either scratching his head wondering what a bildahooey is, or is figuring out that Kakutani defined it for them in the preceding paragraph, or is knocking his head against his kitchen table moaning at the tautology invoked by calling Harry Potter a bildungsroman. Using a term like that is an assertion of superiority as well as a wink to the legit literary critics.

I wonder, though, about her final assessment. She writes, "Indeed, the achievement of the Potter books is the same as that of the great classics of children's literature, from the Oz novels to "The Lord of the Rings": the creation of a richly imagined and utterly singular world, as detailed, as improbable and as mortal as our own."

Word, Michiko, I'll give you that. But passages like that make me wonder: are you actually a very insightful critic? Are you simply a victim of the dumbing-down of the American mind? Is that what fills your reviews with such dead weight pronouncements as everything preceding your final paragraph?

I guess what I'm saying is: reviews like this strike me as uneven and irritating. I dislike it when my editors assume a low comptency to understand or pay attention to what I write; I dislike having to explain what the Dreyfus Affair is when I refer to it-- especially when I know I have an explicitly Jewish audience who should know that it did not involve the actor cheating on his wife. Reviews are there to add something to the reader's experience of the book, not to waste the reader's time. Use the word bildungsroman, and don't explain to me what that is. Make me reach for my dictionary. I'm sorry if this makes reading the newspaper less user-friendly. But to borrow a sentiment from Jon Stewart-- reviews like these are hurting America: they're melting our minds down to mush and saying it's ok for them to be that way.

7/15/2005

hello, I am a sap

something I've started thinking about lately, since I've found myself back in what appears to the same happy relationship that nonsensically ended last February when the gentleman in question could no longer bear the pressure of the distance from Paris to Portland: we never really talk about our relationships when they're going well.

the minute there's something to make us insecure or sets off our danger radar, we (girls, that is, or at least my girlfriends and I) immediately launch the kind of thorough analyses you ought only to find in psychiatric facilities. but when things are going swimmingly, no one wants to hear about it, and it feels a little weird to talk about it.

maybe it's because we don't want to jinx the situation. or maybe it's because there's nothing to analyze. either way, I wonder.

that said, I am the sappiest sad sack sap ever to wander mooningly around Paris because of a French boy with dark curls and a shy smile. awwwwwww...

7/09/2005

saturday morning

an update.

1. I love the website Chocolate and Zucchini. I don't get to read it nearly as often as I would like. Clothilde is currently in NYC, writing about food in the city with the the same kind of anthropological attention to detail that I find in my own writing about culinary customs in Paris. However, I am having a very odd reaction to her description of how bagel stores prepare bagels in NY, as if it is some kind of specialized ritual. Is bagel slicing really that interesting to the French? Could bagels possibly be my very own "culture" to remind myself of, next time I find myself embarrassed because I've forgoten the correct way to slice a wedge of Comté? But on the other hand, I wonder if Clothilde's fetishization of the bagel process isn't just another example of the French obsession with procedure.

2. I have a kidney infection, and it is no fun.

3. My boy G is playing pétanque and drinking pastis in Provence this weekend at another one of those country houses I mentioned.

4. The only thing keeping me from being totally depressed about the above two items is that we will be heading to Rome together in a week and a half to see my sister.

5. In fourth grade, my best friend Rebecca moved to Florida. Last night when Kaitlin left France to go back to the States felt kind of like that.

6. On Thursday night we all went out and hit all our old stomping grounds in order to celebrate Kaitlin's and Lis's final nights in Paris. We compiled a to-do list that included taking pictures with bartenders, getting French boys to say "I love you" to us, getting a picture inside a Smart car, and asking people on the street directions to the "Loo-ver" and the "Tooleries." Guess who ended up getting carried into a bar by a French guy. Yup. You guessed it. It was originally supposed to be a piggyback ride, but we couldn't figure out how to say "piggyback" in French. His name was Jeff and I'll never forget him.

7. That last phrase was a joke, just so you know.

8. The roommate search is coming along nicely.

9. That's all I've got for now...

7/07/2005

Interactive literary criticism

Dear readers,

I would now like to ask a favor of you. You, my loyal readers, are literary critics, academics, writers, teachers, bloggers, and/or readers with strong opinions about what you like and dislike. Therefore I submit to you, in the hope that you will pour forth your opinions and kick your editorial senses into overdrive, two different ways to begin an article. I will not tell you who wrote which one, although obviously I have written one of them. This does not represent my best literary effort, but rather a genuine attempt to broach a difficult subject in the least offensive way possible.

Your job is to tell me what you like and dislike about each passage. Feel free to be as explicit as you like, for I have nothing personally invested in this other than a certain amount of satisfaction.

A.
On the eastern end of the finger-shaped Ile de la Cité is a
tennis-court-sized green space called the Square de l'Ile de France. It
attracts more birds than people. Just one hundred yards away, the massive
Notre Dame Cathedral presides over this tiny island. But, adjoining the
square, accessed by descending an uncomfortably narrow and foreboding
stairway, lies more hallowed ground: the Mémorial des Martyrs de la
Déportation.

B.
At the very tip of Ile de la Cité, away from the crowds thronging Notre Dame, is a quiet, gated-off park, usually empty save for the occasional older gentleman sitting on one of the benches, his nose in a book. In 1962, this peaceful spot in Paris was chosen as the ideal location for a memorial that would serve as a place to remember and reflect on the two hundred thousand French citizens who were deported to the Nazi concentration camps.


Those of you who know my writing (and if you read my blog, that's you) will probably know instantly which is mine. And after you've said your piece, I will be happy to explain the situation that leads me to conduct this experiment and let loose the barrage of comments I'm currently biting back. Pleeeeeease leave me your comments. Let me know if you need a tutorial on how to use the comments function (i.e. you don't have to register as a blogger user to leave a comment; you can just be "anonymous").

Thank you very much. I realize this is sort of a stupid post to put up on a day like today, after what happened in London, and I hope you can forgive me my callousness.

7/04/2005

I'msorryIhaven'tpostedbut...

I'mbusybusybusyandit'sonefifteenamandIshould
besleepingbutmymindisracingamileaminutewithallthestuffIdid'tdotodaythatIshould
havedonethatIdidn'tdobecauseIwasbusydoingotherstufflikeattendingtomyboyfriendwho
wasfaisantlatetebecauseIabandonedhiminthebutteschaumontyesterdaybecausehe's
abandoningmetodoaDESSsomewhereinFranceinSeptemberandthatsucks.

AndCarriememedmesoIhavetoanswerandtherearearticlestowriteandtranslateand
didImentionIhavetowritea60pagepaperonaFrenchJewishLesbianSurrealistphotographer?

AndmyroommateismovingoutandIneedtofindanewoneandbuyarefridgeratorandasofaand
atableswithsomechairssoifyouknowanyonewhoislookingforaplacetoliveorwantstosellsome
furnituresendthemmywayok?

AndeveryoneisleavingtogobacktotheUSbutIamstayinghereinFranceinmybusybusybusy,
busybusybusy,
busybusydreamyParislife.